The Randemic

Spreading the love & winning honorably.

The weeks of this year pass by as quickly as urine flows through Tony’s urethra. So, you would be excused for failing to recall who was the last person to beat Lord Bonermort. Once the Obliviate charm wears off, you will realize it was none other than Hufflepuffchest’s very own Randy Evans back in Week 1.

9 wins later, Lord Bonermort and his DelFLeaters rule over our fantasy world insouciantly (he hasn’t watched a single game in weeks) yet with a methodical management only a Dark Lord could wield. But this article isn’t about he who must not be named.

This article, instead, is about the new leader of the Bench Press Factor Division, the aforementioned Randy, who has his Chubb back and is on a path to the Playoffs with an outside chance at a Championship. The PRC duly endorses this campaign as Randy seeks to immunize us from the viral corrosion damaging the DelFL’s integrity. To borrow a word from the GOP, these ‘irregularities’ include excessive RJ’s (cough cough, Tony), suspicious November trading (cough cough, Billy), Power Ranking manipulation (cough cough, looking in the mirror) & a failure to apologize for accusations of tanking (cough cough, he who must not be named).

In stark contrast, Randy represents our League’s best nature and he is the antidote to 2020’s protracted misery. Him wearing a Brown Jacket would be a warm blanket that thaws the current coldness of the DelFL. Call this favoritism, call it wanting to see a friend do well. The PRC calls it a return to innocence. The greatest pandemic is one of kindness, and that’s a Randemic we all want to be a part of.

***Special note, Power Rankings were written by the BFC as a big help to a busy week.