The Curious Case of Billjamin Brownton

The League Office is very happy the Trade Deadline has passed.

Proverbs 29:3, “"Whoever loves wisdom gives joy to his father, but whoever consorts with harlots squanders his wealth." Jeff is still waiting for the prodigal son to return from NYC, until then, if ever, he is warmed by the notion that his obsequious middle son conforms to his every demand. When looking into the mirror, Jeff doesn’t see a reflection, he sees Billy.

In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short story, Benjamin Button ages in reverse. In the BFC’s short article, Billjamin Brownton ages rapidly. According to the BFC and other reports, Billjamin and his father now dress alike (sharing clothes even), they now act alike, they now eat the same things and have lost the small freedoms of ‘making choices’ or ‘golfing whenever’ that we take for granted.

This elderly bond is now affecting our beloved fantasy league. It’s one thing to enjoy discussing which Skechers shoe is most comfortable for a mall walk, it is another to strategize corrupting the competitive balance over Early Bird specials. Billy and Jeff’s trades are so murky that E.L. James has run out of shades to categorize their transactions. Their trick is to appear honorable even though Owners are smelling the rot weeks in advance. As Billy ages into septuagenarian isolation, the DelFL is forced to act (no, we are not bringing back a Trade Commissioner).

The proposal: The Billy Cup.

A similar remedy to a similar problem that the Giorgio Cup could not completely resolve. The Billy Cup would have the 4 teams not in the Giorgio Cup compete in a 2 week tournament (Weeks 14 & 15) where the loser advances. The loser of the final match in Week 15 would be the ‘winner’ and his ‘reward’ would be paying double the following year’s dues & drafting 18th in the following year’s draft.

Would go into effect next season. Simple majority passes.