Rivalry Week

Deep Fried Rivalry, Battle of Brotherly Love & El Classico are just some of the big rivalry games that will impact playoff qualification & seedings in Week 14.

Rivalry Week is here. While every game is important and 'every point counts', some rivalries are bigger than others. The following is a ranking of this week's rivalry games based on a combination of Off Field Rivalry (OFR, how bad do they want to beat each other in everything that they do), Playoff Importance (PLI, how much impact does this game have for Playoff qualification and seeding), Competitiveness (COM, how competitive is the career H2H record of the rivals). All categories are rated from 1-10. In reverse order:

5. Stinky v. Keith OFR 3 + PLI 8 + COM 3 = 14 points (last year's total: n/a; last year's rank: n/a)

Vanilla Sundae Bowl. This rivalry isn’t all about Stinky and his pursuit of the BYE. This match is also about Keith, who despite being unqualified to make the Playoffs, has a chance to sweep Divisional play and remind the entire Bench Pressers who the real hegemon is. Keith’s broom aside, all the Playoff contenders will have their eyes on Stink who only needs a win to lock up a BYE.

4. Boner v. Jesse OFR 7 + PLI 2 + COM 7 = 16 points (last year's total: 22; last year's rank: 2)

St. Michael’s Playground Throwdown. After both making the Playoffs last year (Jesse won the Regular Season Championship while Boner of course won his 2nd star), they struggled for mediocrity this year. Just because there’s nothing on the line, besides Giorgio Cup seeding, don’t think for a second Boner doesn’t want to remind Jesse who wears Crusader green best.

3. Gwil v. Sqwid OFR 6 + PLI 8 + COM 5 = 19 points (last year's total: n/a; last year's rank: n/a)

Deep Fried Rivalry. Sqwid missed quite a spread from Kortney last weekend in Seattle. The King’s Feast was a gastronomical triumph, accentuated by an easy chop down of some Trees to throw in the royal fireplace. The King had sharpened his blade for those tricky Trees, he seemed to think a dull blade could effortlessly slice tentacle. We shall see.

2. Andrew v. Billy OFR 9 + PLI 7 + COM 7 = 23 points (last year's total: 19; last year's rank: 3)

Battle of Brotherly Love. The gift giving from charitable Santa Jeff is now over, the brothers now must play with the toys they have received. Well, Andrew (guaranteed to make Playoffs) will be without his Taylor Truck this week, but it will be a menace for whoever plays the Seals in the Playoffs. Billy (not guaranteed) needs one of his toys to actually work, he should try replacing F1’s batteries.

1. Bo v. Tony OFR 10 + PLI 8 + COM 8 = 26 points (last year's total: 27; last year's rank: 1)

El Clasico. Does there really need to be more said than this?……. Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.