Out of the Pitts

“I understand now why we had two players in lineup that did not play.” – Co-manager of JYD When the haze and hangover reside and the money on the dresser has been collected, The Dawgs awake in a hole dug of their own contrivance. While it’s at once mesmerizing for the Summer City Scion to be starring in his own VH1 ‘Behind the Band’ episode gone wrong, it is also staggering that there is enough residual energy to fight 3 simultaneous battles, none of which will help his team escape the dark depths of the Piss Poor Four they inhabit. The Dawgs are not just fighting the past and the future, they are also fighting the shadows on the walls. Start with the past. The DelFL has many controversies that stretch back to its genesis (did Bo really manage Boner’s team during that 1st season? Has Tony ever won as an A-Player?). But for most of the scandals and the people involved they are forgotten and have lost their relevance. Meanwhile Tits embodies a young Arya Stark naming his enemies that have wronged him every night before he sleeps (Birdman, Speed Limits, PerchFL, Woke Panera Baristas).

Then there is the future. The Trade Police believe they have a monopoly on clairvoyance. They know exactly the moment a trade is approved what the outcome of said trade will be and who the winner or loser or idiot is that offered/accepted. The Dawgs are the unelected Commissioner of the Trade Police, whose online tactics would make the LAPD of the 90s blush. But as we saw with Sqwid’s libeled roster moves last weekend, the Trade Police are often wrong and should be defunded.

Finally the shadows. The Dawgs started the season with a notorious video. “Lot of people been talking, lot of people saying The Dawgs are washed up, The Dawgs don’t care about fantasy.” Who are these forgetful insecure strawmen if not figments of The Dawg’s imagination? The DelFL hasn’t seen delusion like this since Tony believed Rachaad White was Edgerrin James 2.0.

To climb out of this Piss Poor hole, the past has to be forgotten, the future needs to be unknown and the only thing at present that’s washed up is Kyle Pitts 2nd Round ability.