Here Come the Bulls

and the Bullshit talk of realignment… The platonic rivalries of the early season now turn hazardously inwards with the opening of Division play. Old wounds will be reopened. Clocks could tick on. Brother will fight brother. Father against son. Uncle versus nephew. Dawg versus Fish. Bird versus Dawg.

One Division in particular, the SEC, will tell you that their schedule echoes with the rumbling of the Sanfermines Festival and is embodied by the blood trail it leaves behind. Every November, these unsubstantiated DelFL Matadors contour themselves and their competitive rosters in a hopeless struggle to avoid the inevitable maiming that awaits them.

No one questions that it’s a delicate dance. Only Senor Pájaro holds a winning record against at least 4 of his fellow picadors. But it isn’t blood that you find on the streets of Pamplona in the morning after, it is bullshit, the desperate pleading for a divisional realignment because the fighters are too tired of being in the ring. The mob wants blood. Give the mob what they want. Here is a quick look at the Inter-Division results from 2009-2021, when the DelFL switched to a 3 division format:

2021 Inter-Division Standings

Pig & Sushi: 27-27 You’re So Fat (SEC): 30-24 Bench Press Factor: 24-30

Total Inter-Division Standings (since 2009)

Pig & Sushi: 291-309 You’re So Fat (SEC): 334-266 Bench Press Factor: 275-325

Inter-Division Championships (since 2009)

Pig & Sushi: 3 (2014, 2015, 2017) You’re So Fat (SEC): 6 (2009, 2010, 2016, 2019, 2020, 2021) Bench Press Factor: 3 (2012, 2013, 2018)

Most Inter-Division Wins in a season 34 (You’re So Fat, 2009)

Now that division play begins in week 10, let the internecine bloodbath begin.