Squid Marks

Lying on the roadside of the pathway to the Playoffs are dead squid corpses

Squid’s Championship speech down in the Rancave earlier this summer, while wearing his crisp new Brown Jacket, might have been the best the DelFL has ever heard. It easily beat Birdman’s Waffle House 5-second Hello-Goodbye from the year before. Squid was thoughtful, charismatic and funny; ending it in fitting style with a glittering grill and a swig of Crown.

Things have only gone downhill from there. His management has been flippant (albeit a savvy last minute Erickson acquisition got him above 300 points this past week). His trading has been masochistic. His opponents are circling victories weeks ahead. Squid’s Championship hangover needs a counter beer ASAP.

No DelFL team has ever gone winless. Stinky and Sean have come close, each respectively going 1-12 in 2007 & 2014. Averaging only 247 points per game in his last 4, Squid’s roster has the capacity to keep that goose egg in the win column all year long. Warren’s 12 game losing streak record, the Commissioner’s league low 274 points per game in a season record and the first winless season are all in play.

2019 has been a comedy of errors for Squid. He couldn’t even get the lyrics right in his team name change that references the Seal & Crofts song ‘Summer Breeze’ (yes, we are all befuddled by Squid trying to quote 1970’s Yacht Rock). It is summer breeze – makes me feel fine; not makes me feel good. Meanwhile, there’s nothing good about this season for Squid and it might only get worse. At least we will always have that speech.