DelFL Playoffs: Episode XIII

Will it be a new jacket or a 2nd star? We will find out in 3 weeks... Good Luck! #1 JYD 2: Year of the Dog Owner: John Kapostasy 2018 Season: 10-3 2018 PPG: 460 Playoffs: 6-2 Championships: 1 The name says it all. Year of the Dog. The kennel has been rocking more and more as an impressive 6 game win streak culminated in a Marianne Division & Regular Season Championship. These Dogs never doubted themselves, even after first round pick David Johnson's early struggles and an average 2-2 record out of the gate (which included a loss to the Piss Poor 4 Sushis). But you can teach an old Dog new tricks & these Dogs find themselves in an unfamiliar place: resting for the first round of the playoffs. The fate of this team is in the hands of Kansas City Chief's QB, Patrick Mahomes. The DelFL scoring leader will need to put together two consecutive solid performances if the Dogs are going to get a 2nd star. With all the DelFL winnings being allocated to the Bunnathon party next year, maybe these Dogs will hear some barking coming from other Owners in the league.

v. BYE #4 King of the Hill Owner: Bo Crawford 2018 Season: 8-5 2018 PPG: 477 Playoffs: 4-4 Championships: 1 H2H v. Boner: 7-6 Best Matchup in Round 1: Aaron Jones v ATL Worst Matchup in Round 1: Tyreek Hill v BAL

At one point this season Bo said that he wanted to beat 'the loser' Boner more than he wanted to beat the Fish, which surprised quite a few people inside and out of the DelFL. Bo eventually got his wish and even if the El Clasico clock is still ticking for another 365 days, Bo once again finds himself needing a win against 'the loser'. It will be very difficult to reach the 600 point mark again as he did against Boner in Week 11 now with star RB Kareem Hunt inactive. Before the video was released, Hunt's 14 TDs were a big reason why Bo finds himself back in the playoffs for a 6th time (which is tied for the most qualifications with Birdman). That means he will rely more than ever on the player his team is named after, fellow woman beater, Tyreek Hill. Luckily there is no tape of his women beatings (that we know of, Boner surely would like to see TMZ investigators make more of an effort). v. #5 I Luv My Bohner Owner: Justin Bohnlein 2018 Season: 8-5 2018 PPG: 398 Playoffs: 4-3 Championships: 1 H2H v. Bo: 6-7 Best Matchup in Round 1: Sony Michel @ MIA Worst Matchup in Round 1: Spencer Ware v BAL

One thing is for sure: Boner is very tired of being called 'a loser' by Bo. He has heard it all year, it haunts him in his 4-Loko induced sleeps. The name calling, reminiscent of Becky yelling at him during St. Mike's basketball practices, have made him very sad and rejected. He has visions of Father Marty and Father Ron shaking their heads in disappointment. But can Magoo actually beat his Divisional rival, in a Playoff game no less? If the 2016 Playoffs are any indication, then the answer is yes. Back in the semifinals of 2016, Boner was able to beat Bo with Terrelle Pryor, Chris Hogan, Terrance West and Eli Manning (and Bo had Drew Brees and Antonio Brown). So yes Boner can do it. He has a much better team in 2018 and an outside shot at making his 4th DelFL finals (would be a record all his own). Boner could even get to 100 wins this week. All he needs to do is show Bo that he isn't a loser & that he is a special boy just like Jane and John told him he was. --------------------------- #2 Mr. Steal Your Gurley Owner: Randy Evans 2018 Season: 10-3 2018 PPG: 491 Playoffs: 2-2 Championships: 0

And here we are on the side of the bracket where a majority of the DelFL Owners want the eventual Champion to come out of. This team has probably the best shot of the 3. It rosters two MVP candidates, the best Tight End in football & a consistently good D/ST. Mr. Steal Your Gurley scored more points than anyone in the DelFL in 2018. But, we all know what needs to be said. The WRs are weaker than Jim Harbaugh's knees inside the Horseshoe. Whomever Randy starts, if they can put together a collective 250+ points in Weeks 15 & 16, then Randy will wear a Brown Jacket at the next Bunnathon. If there are goose eggs on the board, like there were in Week 13, then Randy is exposed and can easily fall. There is no question that Randy now faces his biggest challenge in his fantasy football life. Who will he pick up? Who will he start? These are the questions that will either make him a champion, or send him back to irrelevance. v. BYE #3 Squidocalypse Now Owner: Jeremy Widman 2018 Season: 10-3 2018 PPG: 475 Playoffs: 1-4 Championships: 0 H2H v. Billy: 3-3 Best Matchup in Round 1: Dede Westbrook @ TEN Worst Matchup in Round 1: Kirk Cousins @ SEA

Playing in December is not a big deal for Squid, he does it every year. 5 years in a row (a DelFL record). But experience isn't everything, as Squid's 1-4 record in December clearly shows. Therefore, his team name says it all: Squidocalypse Now. Not next year, not the year after that, but now. Squid cannot let this historical run of Playoff qualifications yield zero Brown Jackets. But winning now will be extremely difficult, even if Squid has his best seeding in the Playoffs over that 5 year span. Because once again Squid is taking a team in the Playoffs with some gaping holes in the lineup, a theme it feels like every year for him. The biggest hole is at RB2 where an Alfred Blue is likely to get the start. That should make any DelFL Brown Jacket aspirant feeling blue. Starting Dede Westbrook at WR3 isn't comforting either. Squid was knocked out by Billy last year, could we be looking at a similar fate this year? v. #6 Rise of the Militant Left Owner: Billy Brown 2018 Season: 7-6 2018 PPG: 405 Playoffs: 1-3 Championships: 0 H2H v. Squid: 3-3 Best Matchup in Round 1: Zach Ertz @ DAL Worst Matchup in Round 1: Tyler Lockett v MIN

There is an uphill battle to be fought by the Militant Left, perhaps just being able to play in December is enough of a win in itself. First, no 7-6 team has ever made the Finals. Second, no previous runner-up has ever made it back to the Finals the next year. Third, no 6 seed has made the Finals. That is a lot of firsts for a team that all the other Playoff teams have been anxious to play in the first round if given the chance. But don't count out the Militant Left. Keith has been a good luck charm and this Brown Family Division Champion has survived a CDC level injury bug that would have wiped out less formidable DelFL teams. But just as Rise of the Dark Knight wasn't as good as the previous film, this Rise of the Militant Left certainly isn't as good as last year's team. Pay close attention to the QB position this week. There is a chance that Dak might be riding the pine as Billy and Keith opt to ride the Carr to the 2nd round.