Fishkind
Fish & his Mandible Claw have a slight edge over X
The Top 5 MVO rankings as of March 2018
***MVO calendar year starts the Saturday morning of the Bunnathon through the full calendar year (think Waffle House breakfast to Jacket Ceremony)
1a. Fish
1b. X
3. Boner
4. Tits
5. Yanni
18. Parker
On June 28th 1998 at the King of the Ring pay-per-view event in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, Mankind wrestled against the Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match. During the match, the Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of the steel cage twice, invoking Jim Ross to famously shout, "Good God almighty! Good God almighty! That killed him! As God as my witness, he is broken in half!" After each choke slam into the tables and ring below, the announcers, fans, Vince McMahon and even the Undertaker thought Mankind was legitimately finished. But each time, Mankind got back up.
20 years later there is a new King of the League match ongoing and of course there is a new belt to be won: The MVO (Most Valuable Owner) an award to the most valuable Owner off the field and nothing to do with actual fantasy performance (otherwise Tony would never be in the discussion).
So as of March 2018, who are the contenders? Despite a move to DelFL HQ and intermittent shenanigans, 3rd place Boner & his inconsistencies (which correlate closely with the propinquity of his American harem) is currently far from the two MVO leaders: Fish & X.
Like Mankind, Fish is sloppy bordering on disgusting, often making others feel like he is metaphorically sticking dirty socks into their mouths. Fish can’t help but get thrown off the steel cage from time to time. But, the thing is, people enjoy watching Mankind & Fish get thrown off of steel cages. Fish delivers in big moments. Of course, his MVO resume does have some demerits: failing to come to Italy for Billy's wedding, a ho-hum rivalry week with Bo, the first 5 hours of Paula's Thanksgiving dinner where he sat awkwardly acting like a completely different person, failing to share any boob photos during Mardis Gras.
X, likewise is very much like the Undertaker. While his presence isn't as sinister as The Lord of Darkness, when X is around everyone notices and is a bit concerned for their own wellbeing. And if you do manage to complete a night out with X, more than likely you will be buried the next day. Or as Sean would say, X goin’ to give it to ya. X's MVO resume is also impeccable. His blemishes derive from a very quiet post New Year’s Florida DelFL Summit. X has been hibernating in New Jersey.
With 4 months left, anyone can still claim the belt. Boner even has shown signs of life recently (according to one owner, he was in free fall) and has the advantage of being in the Commissioner's proximity. But you have to imagine it is going to be X versus the Fish slugging it out on top of that cage. The contention is palpable, a recent spat between the two in Sire League could be a harbinger of more battles to come. Meanwhile, many questions linger. Will the doctor sedate a recently hot Fish? Will X suffer from not being in the Sire League? Will the Jane & John Classic (Friday before the Bunnathon basketball match) influence the MVO? Should be a fun offseason leading up to the Bunnathon.
***There can only be one MVO, but there certainly are a lot of other Owners doing their part to ensure the DelFL remains the best fantasy league around. I want to give a special shout out to Tits who is singularly responsible for the creation of the MVO belt. This is his brainchild and he is the one to thank. (This could also be a ploy to share some of the blame when people inevitably argue the rankings are wrong)
