Environmental Hazard

Warren's going Streaking!!! 5 losses in a row that is.

You are a product of your environment. For fantasy football, it is always beneficial to have salutary surroundings while you are researching, drafting, trading, bidding, and editing your lineup. Too much ambient noise pollution is counterproductive for winning DelFL games. With Tommy and Anna running around wild and Ruxandra screaming for Jeff to stop glaring at his iPad; it is no wonder that Jeff has never made the Playoffs.

Warren's environment has recently changed, and it has negatively affected his Brown Jacket chances. Warren used to be in the peaceful and secluded confines of Luckey. Far out in bucolic northwest Ohio, Warren was able to gather his thoughts. He was able to tinker with his cars in the spacious garage to take his mind off of the world. Yes, he had many many problems with Suki's lawn mower and her obsession with lawn care, but that was an acceptable bargain to an otherwise perfect situation. This sanctuary delivered a dominant 9-4 season last year, a Brown family division championship & a playoff win.

But alas, Warren has moved. No longer is he interrupted by the gentle rattling of the night train and delightful bark of the neighborly Labrador. Now he is interrupted by the vile and inebriated Tony-like Bowling Green State University student body, fornicating in his bushes, pissing in his lawn & puking on his driveway. There is no easy escape to tinker with his cars because there is no room. Instead there is the constant cleaning of empty beer bottles and used condoms dispersed throughout the front yard. This is obviously not an auspicious environment for DelFL success & it is showing in the 2016 season. Warren is the only 0-4 team and now has the snake.

A big game against Tony beckons. Can he get the cacophonic house of 4 sluts next door to finally shut up & get some sleep; and if so, can he finally get his first victory? We will soon find out.